Always, Always, Always....

The title of the my page and this first blog was/is inspired by my favorite movie....27 Dresses...I was trying to come up with something witty and fantastic that would draw people to want to read, but nothing came to mind.  As I sit here watching this movie again I realized that those words, used in the title of the article Malcolm/Kevin wrote about Jane, could be used in a good, bad, indifferent and any other emotion.  S there you have it, the not so witty title that I thought would be perfect.


Lately I feel like I am on a psychotic merry go round.  Things just seem to be spinning out of control.  I am very glad that I am secure in who I am in Christ and that I choose not to be moved by circumstances.  I told my sis the other day that I'd like to get off the ride and she reminded me that as a mom that isn't an option.  However, some days I would really like for it slow down and at least let me get off the horse and move to one of the bench seats. Am I the only one that feels that way?  I'm sure not....


I often wonder if I'm doing all I should be for God, if any of the decisions I've made in my life were truly based on His best for me or what I thought was His best because it was what I wanted.  I know that He can turn anything into a blessing and use our stupid choices for His glory and for that I am thankful.


I think I got lost somewhere along the way.  I don't know how or why, I had a very blessed childhood, couldn't have special ordered better parents out of the Sears (& Roebuck) catalog.  They of course were not perfect, but compared to most of the parents I knew mine were by far the best.  They made sure that I never doubted that I was loved.  It was big in our house that you said I LOVE YOU at every chance, especially when you were leaving the house.  They made sure that we had everything we wanted and I've always loved the fact that my dad adores my mom more with each passing day.  I longed for that kind of love and to live the kind of life they've lived.


My first marriage was nothing like I had planned, 15 years of life, very little love, but a few good times and two amazing kids.  Kids that 80% of the time I feel like I might actually manage to turn them into decent adults and 20% of the time I'm pretty darn sure I'm going to screw them up, beyond repair.


Most days I'm just thankful for all the good things that God has done for me and I continue to try to see HIM in every situation.....